an apple a day...

I can finally see the top of my desk at work, so I am rewarding myself with a healthy dose of blog-posting.

I've been working on how to go about posting on the topic of fibromyalgia. Because really, most people forget that I even have it, and I think I prefer it that way. So, I don't want to sound all "woe is me" because that's not the point. The point is awareness and truth. I think.

So let's start with this. Might as well jump right in so you can get over the "Really?" response that most people have and just engage what I'm saying.

I live with pain every day. Yes, really. In a good spell, most of the day, every day. In a bad spell, all day, every day. I'm also tired, can't concentrate, forget what I'm saying, reading, watching, doing; I have had stomach issues since I was five, and I get itchy spots on my skin. Most of the time, I am probably completely unaware of these things unless they exceed my level of tolerance which has grown increasingly higher over the years.

What does it feel like? That's hard to explain because I don't know what normal feels like, so I really have nothing to compare it to. Based on my experience of other people's lives (which doesn't actually exist), I would compare it to not sleeping for a day or two (or more) in a row and choosing to run a mile at your fastest pace from the state of a person completely out of shape. Maybe? I don't really know. If I had to guess, I think that is maybe what I would say. How's that for certainty!

How could I not know this? Probably because I didn't tell you, or you forgot, which is both completely normal and acceptable in my book. No, but really, me blogging on this is a big step. I just don't tell people, or even remind them because I have never felt that it was necessary in the majority of cases. Did I tell my husband before we started dating? Yeah. Have I told my employer? Yeah. My best friends? Yeah. The rest of you? Nope, or only in passing, to make another point. Also, it is invisible for the majority of my life. Does that make me insane? No, it's real. Trust me. You just can't see it unless you're looking for it. If you happen to catch a glimpse, feel free to ask me how I'm doing. :)

I don't really know what else to say right now, other than that there is hope. I'm starting a new treatment soon which should completely reverse the disease. I don't even know what that would look like. Journey with me.